The Top 11 Reasons why Joe D. didn’t go to Buono’s kickoff

Besides conferring with state Sen. Brian P. Stack (D-33) on a constituent services issue, the top ten reasons why Joe D. didn’t attend state Sen. Barbara Buono’s (D-18) gubernatorial kickoff:

  1. He felt his home state was already firmly with Joe Flacco on the mainland and preferred to send an “island vibe” in support of the New Jersey native’s Super Bowl effort;
  2. He was secretly in California in the TV studio to lend “moral support” to Cory Booker as the camera-shy Newark mayor filmed his appearance on the Bill Maher show;
  3. The event was in Middlesex. He was “Putting Essex First;”
  4. He was fed some bad information that Dick Codey was going to be at Buono’s event but would have “definitely gone” had someone fed him the straight dope;
  5. He was helping state Sen. M. Teresa Ruiz (D-29) and other allies prepare for what is certain to be a very tough re-election year. As Tip O’Neil said, “All politics is local;”
  6. He was on a very important phone call with Mark Zuckerberg wondering why he can’t get some love;
  7. He is interested in building “a relationship” with Senator Buono and felt the presence of too many people at her event would interfere with “quality time;”
  8. “Sheila was there;”
  9. Essex Democrats are going to vote BIG for the Democratic candidate anyway, being at Buono’s event would be redundant;
  10. All questions regarding the matter should be referred to Mike DuHaime with the Christie Campaign.
  11. He was helping Phil Alagia unload a wild Tibetan yak, newly acquired by the Turtleback Zoo. 
"I’m excited as hell about CD 5. We have encouraged Congressman [Steve] Israel to get involved in CD 5."
—Democratic State Party Chairman John Currie